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Rachel Blau DuPlessis’s 2008 and 2009 Tapa Notebook — page 09
[ Text: No matter what — the awe of the / mark. A fear of setting it down. / A risk. An inadequacy of the self (never / in the language — just in my abilities with / language). The fear of writing oneself into / a cul de sac from which no skill or / sincerity or ability to manoeuvre can / extricate me. And yet as soon as the / hand hits the page arrives excess, the / more, plethora, possibilities and then / the awe & fear of that, of being awash, / flooded out. From nothing to everything, / from dessiccation [or: desiccation] to drowning, the tidal / surges of writing. The aggregate choices / of making is/are the “answer.” / 30 Dec 08 ]
RBD gloss: some of this language was incorporated in Draft 114: Exergue and Volta.
These are scans of pages of a Tapa Notebook, filled out by American poet Rachel Blau DuPlessis for the University of Auckland Library. It ponders Rachel’s experiences writing in 2008 and 2009. For more of this backstory, see here. The word ‘tapa’ refers to the kind of dyed patterned cloth (made from the paper mulberry tree) shown left, and on the front cover of the notebook, an honorable practice popular in Polynesia. (See Wikipedia) Most spreads of this notebook have a blank verso (left hand page), except for 7L and 7R. Blank verso pages are not shown; usually only the recto (right hand) page is shown.